Part 2 of my birth story - this is the part you should avoid if you don't like to hear details of what happens when a baby is actually born - it's not too graphic, but I didn't hold back when writing about what I was going through at each stage!
When I went back to the delivery suite I sat in the armchair while the midwife set up the monitoring (for the fetal heartbeat and also to monitor contractions) and inserted the drip. To distract from the nerves I asked my husband to put on my iPod (I'd set up a special 'labour' playlist) and I sat in the armchair chatting to the midwife and playing with a Rubik's cube. As I chatted to the midwife I discovered that not only was her daughter a dancer, but she was learning at a dance school I used to teach at. As soon as I said my maiden name she knew who my mother was - people often say "it's a small world" and this is particularly true in the dance world!
The drip had gone in at 9.30am, and at 10.00 I felt something. When I looked at the monitor and saw my numbers going up I actually had to ask if it was a contraction! It was. It surprised me that it was quite mild - I'd heard that with an induced labour the contractions would start really strong. It's true - you can't believe everything you hear secondhand.
These mild contractions continued, and the drip was increased. After a brief toilet trip I decided not to sit back down in the chair - instead I stood and rocked my way through the (still mild) contractions. It was at this point I said to the midwife "I thought it would be worse than this". I validated it by saying that I knew it was going to get more intense, just so she didn't think I was delusional, but I really was genuinely surprised that the contractions were building slowly. She also remarked that I probably had quite a high pain threshold after my years of dancing - I was used to working through the pain of injury and tired muscles. This was something my husband had also said during the pregnancy, and I was hoping they both turned out to be correct.
The contractions did of course start to get more intense, and I felt great relief leaning forward over the bed and rocking through the hips. After doing this for a while I tried sitting on the fitball with my husband behind me massaging my lower back. The massage was a fabulous relief, and the smell of the palmarosa essential oil was really comforting, but after a while the sitting just became too uncomfortable.
After another toilet trip (there were a lot of those!) I wanted to kneel down on all fours. The midwife sourced a mat for me, and in this position we continued the massage. It was in this position that the contractions really moved up a level. I had read birth skills by Juju Sundin in preparation for labour, and had thought that movement and vocalization would be the two 'skills' that I would use the most. I hadn't liked the idea of chanting though, thinking that I would sing along to my playlist instead. This was good in theory, but I kept finding that whenever a contraction hit the song playing at the time would be in an instrumental section! So out came the chanting - in the throes of labour you really don't care what you sound like.
After a while the chanting started to turn into screams, and the midwife kept reminding me to breathe. Birth skills does make a strong point that being tense and fearful of the pain makes the pain worse, and it is so true. Breathing through and focusing on the chanting did make a difference.
Around this point I started yelling out that I really needed to go to the toilet again as I felt the need to empty my bowels (this surprised me, as I really thought the castor oil had done the job!). The midwife suggested an internal examination as this urge for the toilet may not necessarily mean that I needed to go. I agreed to the exam and it turned out that I was 8cm dilated. I think if I hadn't been so far along I may have thought about pain relief, but knowing I was getting close to being fully dilated made me persevere without.
I then moved to the bed and lay down on my side. This position felt great in between the contractions, but after one contraction laying down I realised what a huge mistake that position was. I then rolled over onto all fours, but once again I started screaming for the toilet. To counteract this feeling the midwife suggested I sit upright, as the pressure on the bottom might be enough to counteract the urge to push. It worked.
From this point on I was sitting cross legged on the bed and I began singing my way through contractions. My OB was called and was told that I was 'singing this baby out'. She didn't believe it, but sure enough she arrived at the hospital to see me sitting on the bed singing away! I really wished we'd videoed the singing, as I was so connected with what was going on in my body it felt amazing and apparently sounded good too - I would have loved to have had a record of it. In between contractions I closed my eyes and blocked everything out, conserving my energy for what was to come. I do remember my beautiful husband got me a heat pack for my back while I was in this position and it helped immensely. Rubbing my feet along the bed in time with the music also helped distract from the pain.
Eventually I had to lay back slightly on the bed as my back was hurting, and very soon after the change of position I started screaming for the toilet again. I was begging them to help me up, but the OB did an internal exam and, apart from a cervical lip, I was fully dilated. It was the urge to push that I was mistaking for a need to go to the toilet. I couldn't believe that it was time to push and I told my husband to get the camera ready. (I was a little disappointed when the midwife said it would be a while yet!)
I was put into position in readiness for the pushing stage - I was lying on the bed, legs spread wide, arms hooked around my thighs and dreading the next contraction! Amazingly the pushing provided relief from the contractions. Using the pain for something productive felt amazing. It took me a while to push effectively, but the OB and midwife guided me through it beautifully. You know how in the movies and on TV they grunt through the pushing stage? That is highly unrealistic! The second I made a grunting noise I was told "no sound" - holding my breath and pushing was the way to go. I was also looking to the ceiling when the going got tough, and was reminded to keep my chin to my chest. (I had, of course, read about effective pushing in the Birth Skills book, but you don't always recall these things when needed!)
I was cheating a little during this pushing stage, as I didn't trust that my body would know what to do. I was looking at the monitor to see when a contraction started rather than feeling my way through it. I was upset when they took my monitor away, as I suddenly had to listen to my own body and know when it was time to push. The first contraction I wasn't sure about, but after that instinct did take over.
I found the pushing incredibly tiring - I had hardly had any sleep due to the nerves and anxiousness and during many contractions I just felt that I couldn't do it. (I was being asked for three effective pushes, but most times could only manage two). When everyone started saying they could see the head I suddenly felt much more energized and more determined to push this baby out! My husband, who had previously said that he didn't want to be at the "business end" while the baby was coming out, was standing there in awe. He had been given the task of holding one of my legs, so decided he may as well watch what was happening. His encouragement through this stage really helped me through. The music was still playing at this point, and the last song I remember being played was Daniel Bedingfield's "I Gotta Get Thru This". I remember laughing at how appropriate the timing was.
When the head was crowning I was asked if I wanted to see in the mirror, but I decided I didn't. I was worried that I might not like what I saw! I felt down and touched the baby's head, and that was enough! It was really soft and covered in fluid, and I was just repeating "oh my God, oh my God". It was weird to the touch, and to be honest it kind of freaked me out!
I think I'd read far too much about labour beforehand. There was such an emphasis on the crowning stage and feeling the "ring of fire" as the head was coming out. In reality everything was numb. I was vaguely aware of the OB stretching my perineum as the head was coming out, but I did not feel pain. Just a feeling of euphoria as I pushed and knowing that the head was almost out. Once the head and shoulders were through the rest of my baby's body just fell out onto the bed! He was born at 1.54pm.
To be continued...
